The Story of My Dad and I: Part 3

I would often half-heartedly ask the Lord for my Dad’s freedom, asking because of my Mom, because of my brothers and sister, but not because I wanted him home. Stubbornly, thinking I don’t need my Dad. One day I was listening to the song “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman, I had no idea what I was getting myself into!



The words cut deep into my wounded, aching heart. For the first time I prayed for my Dad to come home. Tears just rolled down, poured out, as if I had been holding them in for 2 years. The only words that would come out were “I want my Daddy, I want my Daddy…” I said it over and over again, crying harder and harder as I heard the words from my own voice, from my own heart. My brother heard me, with concern  he came up behind me and hugged me. In that moment, for a split second I thought it was my Daddy. Words cannot describe how I felt. I NEEDED my Dad. I needed a relationship with him. I realized I loved him, respected him, and admired him for who he is and how he raised me. My Dad was reflecting Christ each step of the way, in his own way. Just because he made a bigger financial disaster and went to prison does not erase the great man he was and is today. I forgave my Dad in my heart that night, and you will not believe what happened… The next day he was home, a free man and he was able to spend Thanksgiving with our whole family.
Four months later my Dad walked me down the isle on my wedding day. I received his blessing as I married the man of my dreams, it was such a special moment. I needed my Dad. I need his love. 

Now I see my son inheriting some of my Dad’s traits and I’m so proud. I pray that he can use those outgoing and  'people person' traits to bring God glory, like my Dad.

The Story of My Dad and I: Part 2

When you idolize someone there always seems to be a point when they let you down. 

Guess what? My dad let me down.

In the fall of my second year of college I was in my dorm when I got a phone call from my Dad. I could tell in his voice that something serious happened. I listened, and shook with disbelief at what he had to say. He was the owner of a business that had been on the cutting edge of technology at the time, in order to properly fill the demand my Dad received loans from the government for this kind of company. In a pinch on funds, he misused one of the loans and hoped to pay it back before it had been discovered, before it became an issue. Unfortunately for my Dad the funds never came, his business fell on hard times. My Dad was unsure of what to do, at this point the only thing he could do was tell the government loan officer, ask for patients and forgiveness. The more time went on the less patient the government was on him, until someone else took hold of the case and decided to convict him. Just like that!

My world was turned upside down. 

My father could be going to prison?

I was so angry at him! I wanted him to be punished for what he did wrong, but mostly because he let me down. I felt betrayed and abandoned. My dad and I argued every time we talked, I had lost my respect for him and it show through every conversation we had. I no longer want to be just like him. I kept seeing faults in him that I was working on in my own life, and it looked like he wasn’t trying to change. To have someone I look up to and love so much, fall from a pedestal I put them on was crushing, more than I could handle. You know, all of this happened at a time where it's natural to rebel and question your parents in order to gain more independence as an adult. There is always a time when parents fall from high up where you had placed them as youths. It was just so extreme; my little heart couldn’t take it. I fell into a depression, before I found my comfort in Jesus Christ. My Heavenly Father who is worthy of any pedestal He is put upon.

Last family picture before...

My father was sentenced and spent a year and a half in Federal Prison. It was surreal; we just did what we had to in order to survive. The Lord slowly softened my heart. I was surprised to find that the more I grew in the Lord and learned about myself in my Father’s absence, the more I understood the man I had idolized. 

Part 3 will be posted on July 5th ~ my dad's Birthday.

The Story of My Dad and I: Part 1

I know Father’s Day is in June, but I always celebrate my Dad in July. His birthday is July 5^th He loves grilling outdoors and fireworks. As a child he thought the fireworks were for his birthday. I thought I would tell my story of our relationship. Its a long story so it's in 3 parts.

My dad was always my hero.

I have always looked like him; I inherited a lot of his more obvious personality traits, including being outgoing and a people person. People told me I was just like him, so very early on I set out to be the female version of my Dad. I admired him so much, I put him on a pedestal; He could do no wrong in my child mind. I am fortunate to have such a loving father who hugged me, showered me with kisses, and bought me things that we could do together. My Dad always told me I’m beautiful just the way I am. The first time I wore make-up, he was sad and told me I didn’t need it, I looked so pretty just the way God made me. I knew he was proud of me. He was more than eager to help me with my special talents, I’m creative, I have always been an artist. I never forgot that I was special because the Lord made me the way I am. I have always felt that I belonged and had a special place in my family, my Daddy made sure of that. My Dad is the guy you find surrounded by people, often telling an exciting story with a glint in his eye as they hang on his every word.